People I Don’t Walk with Anymore

“We’re all just walking each other home.” – Ram Dass I was inspired by my friend Chloé Caldwell’s writing exercise suggestion from her essay on Hobart this week) with credit to Chelsea Hodson’s People I Don’t Talk to Anymore. 1. The girl on the playground who had a sparkle in her eye and started a secret witch’s coven. We used to walk the perimeter of the playground and talk about white witchcraft and black witchcraft. We decided we’d only practice black magic if we had a very, very good reason.  Once we went to the woods past the chainlink fence,…

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No One’s Going to Stalk You, Boomer

It’s one or the other. Either no one is going to stalk you or anyone is going to stalk you. You’ll never know. The object of my attentions slyly suggested I’d grabbed some photos from their Facebook page and I said “No, I haven’t stalked your page at all.” Which was a lie, although I didn’t think of it as a lie at the time. I had indeed stalked their page because my work wife had showed it to me, so I stalked by proxy. Not deeply, but I had. I’d seen a picture of them with their dog. I’d…

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Divided Masculine is Still Divided Feminine

Ryder asked me if I wanted to watch Marriage Story. My first thought was that he’s either a way bigger Noah Baumbach fan than I thought or he’s not aware of what the movie is really about. When I asked him about it, he said, “No, I really just wanted to watch it because I knew you would like it.” He doesn’t really like movies with conflict that doesn’t include a magical land populated with centaurs or at least kings and queens. So a movie about the dissolution phase of two people’s marriage was not something I’d expect him to…

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Live Wire Muse

My friend Latrice sent me a link to an article on Medium titled: You’re Probably a Micro Cheater, and That’s Okay.  I read it. I’m not, I wrote back. It says it’s about lying and complaining and also stalking and I’m not. Well, maybe a little light internet stalking. Wait, do you think I’m giving bisexuals a bad name? Doesn’t this mean you’re pan, not bi? Pan is bi.  They showed up again at my workplace. Because, well, that’s their job. I never knew someone without an outsized ego would be interested in so much attention. So the attention is…

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Healthy Power Exchange

I hesitate to call it power because it felt so absolutely different than these types of exchanges I’ve had in the past. First, the furtive longing, then the pleading to quiet it, or let it be something more. This wasn’t that. I asked my husband for clearance to flirt with my work crush. “You want to flirt?” he asked. He thought it was probably something I could do without asking. “Isn’t that something you could just do on your own, without me? As long as it didn’t get too serious?” I mean, yeah. I could. But there was something about…

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Love Game Table

My friend Paige brought an exercise to writing group that I absolutely loved. She and her family used to play Snake Oil, and what you do is you draw three cards and then try to make a product out of whatever cards you drew. I pulled Love, Game, and Table. Here is my pitch, which I wrote two minutes ago: Have you ever had an argument with your wife, partner, lover and didn’t want to go to bed angry because you heard on Family Ties that it was a terrible thing to go to bed angry? With H.D. Radke’s Love…

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Manic Panic

I have always had a sense of underlying mania that has informed everything I do. I think there’s even a mania in my boredom. It has changed a lot since I have started taking ADHD meds, but what it seems like to me is sustainable, less electric mania. So probably it’s just how normal people feel when they can focus on something. The principal at my child’s school said, “Your energy is astounding.” I’ve been told by many many people that my writing is quick, fast, frank. I have been told upon first meeting someone: “You’re alert, like a bird.”…

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Queer Friendships

My friendships have always been very queer. I wrote this one sentence like two months ago and then just left it in drafts. It is very hard to pinpoint but I’ve always had queerness in my friendships in one way or another. I told my friend Emily and her wife that I was taking a queer memoir class and started going on about what queerness is or isn’t in terms of writing, and that my book was very queer, and that Aikido is queer in some ways as well (as my friend Paige Schilt pointed out after reading about it),…

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It’s Not a Call-out, It’s a Call-in

I wrote a tinyletter investigating white authors on whiteness: I search for white writers who have written articles about whiteness in the last four years. I find: Robin D’Angelo. Debbie Irving. Tim Wise. Nell Irvin Painter. Aside from Eula Biss, all of these writers write exclusively about race, and in particular, whiteness. Robin D’Angelo is a professor at University of Washington whose area of research (listed on her website) is Whiteness Studies. I believe her work is useful and important, from an analysis perspective. However, these white authors write mainly about what white people should be doing. I’m not saying that’s wrong, but when…

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Racial Healing Circles

I wrote a tinyletter about a Racial Healing Circle I attended last summer. I asked everyone involved in the story if I could have their blessing in sharing it. I am so honored that they allowed me to do so. For more information about Truth, Racial Healing, and Transformation, please go to www.healourcommunities.com. Please visit the website and support the work of Fatima Mann in Austin. She is an amazing force for equity in Austin, and elsewhere. Find her on Twitter @BarefootEmprss ‏