December 2019

No One’s Going to Stalk You, Boomer

It’s one or the other. Either no one is going to stalk you or anyone is going to stalk you. You’ll never know. The object of my attentions slyly suggested I’d grabbed some photos from their Facebook page and I said “No, I haven’t stalked your page at all.” Which was a lie, although I didn’t think of it as a lie at the time. I had indeed stalked their page because my work wife had showed it to me, so I stalked by proxy. Not deeply, but I had. I’d seen a picture of them with their dog. I’d…

Read more »

Chilling Like…A Real Chill Thing

LOL what was I thinking. I don’t have the constitution for casual flirtation and really never have. So of course I’m feeling off-balance now. I always get weird and wistful and confused. Not just with the flirtation itself, which still holds some allure but is sort of pointless, but also with my marriage and what it all means. Then I walk around and wonder about it. My workplace crush said I have no chill. Which is funny because that’s the first time anyone has every said anything like that to me. KIDDING. My dad used to say, “You’re great, you…

Read more »

Divided Masculine is Still Divided Feminine

Ryder asked me if I wanted to watch Marriage Story. My first thought was that he’s either a way bigger Noah Baumbach fan than I thought or he’s not aware of what the movie is really about. When I asked him about it, he said, “No, I really just wanted to watch it because I knew you would like it.” He doesn’t really like movies with conflict that doesn’t include a magical land populated with centaurs or at least kings and queens. So a movie about the dissolution phase of two people’s marriage was not something I’d expect him to…

Read more »

Live Wire Muse

My friend Latrice sent me a link to an article on Medium titled: You’re Probably a Micro Cheater, and That’s Okay.  I read it. I’m not, I wrote back. It says it’s about lying and complaining and also stalking and I’m not. Well, maybe a little light internet stalking. Wait, do you think I’m giving bisexuals a bad name? Doesn’t this mean you’re pan, not bi? Pan is bi.  They showed up again at my workplace. Because, well, that’s their job. I never knew someone without an outsized ego would be interested in so much attention. So the attention is…

Read more »