My friend Paige brought an exercise to writing group that I absolutely loved. She and her family used to play Snake Oil, and what you do is you draw three cards and then try to make a product out of whatever cards you drew. I pulled Love, Game, and Table. Here is my pitch, which I wrote two minutes ago:
Have you ever had an argument with your wife, partner, lover and didn’t want to go to bed angry because you heard on Family Ties that it was a terrible thing to go to bed angry? With H.D. Radke’s Love Game Table, you can put these tiffs where they belong, on the table! Did you know the number one mistake in arguments, the thing that keeps them going, is the husband, the wife, the spouse or lover forgets the cardinal rule of arguments, which, incidentally are the exact same in GAMES. You take turns! Whose turn is it? The Love Game Table will tell you, so there’s no ifs ands buts about it!
The person on one end of the table will set up the liter sized soda bottles (pop, coke, whatever you call it in your region of the world) and will form them into a V, much like a bowling pin set up. The other person will then roll this giant robotic roly poly (pill bug, potato bug, whatever you want to call it) toward the pins. This will take some skill as the well as luck, because the roly poly is set to open randomly and crawl in various directions. The bottles will dictate what format the communication will take. If one pin is knocked down onto another pin, the partner will write a note to their partner starting with the words: “I know you would never do something purposely to hurt me.” The other partner will respond by placing the note on their heart and closing their eyes. If three pins are knocked down and none of them are touching each other, both partners will approach one another and sit on the ground, their backs touching, and each will make a statement starting with the prompt: “What you don’t know about me is….”
If all pins are knocked down, each partner will flip the timer on the side of the table and respond to the question:
“What are you so afraid of?”
The game consists of four turns for each partner. The partner has the option of the following responses, using this handy spinner:
- What I think I hear you saying is…..then a summary of what the partner has just said.
- You’re right, but you are only partly right.
- (with hand on heart) Thank you so much for telling me.
- A description of the responses in the partners physical body. My heart rate is increased and my palms are sweaty. My chest feels a sense of collapse, a sort of hollowness. A hardness is wrapped around my head like a tight band.
There is to be no further discussion on the matter, as the core argument will remain the same for the duration of your relationship, and the materials are quite durable. Is $99.99 too much to pay? Then how about $85, today and today only??? Paypal or Venmo accepted.