Manic Panic

I have always had a sense of underlying mania that has informed everything I do. I think there’s even a mania in my boredom.

It has changed a lot since I have started taking ADHD meds, but what it seems like to me is sustainable, less electric mania. So probably it’s just how normal people feel when they can focus on something.

The principal at my child’s school said, “Your energy is astounding.” I’ve been told by many many people that my writing is quick, fast, frank. I have been told upon first meeting someone: “You’re alert, like a bird.” And, once: “Didn’t I meet you as a cartoon?”

But there was a burnout part of it, I have a tendency to hit a wall eventually. I won’t say I never finish anything because that’s not true at all, it’s just that there’s a point where it becomes very very hard to finish something. The drive I had at the beginning kind of stalls. Then I have to WALK. BY MYSELF.

That’s why I love the ukulele. It’s super fun and there’s not a lot of commitment involved. It is a cheerful and forgiving instrument. And it’s fun to just kind of see how songs sound.

So in honor of this half-assery, I’m going to share a beautiful song that I didn’t even finish. Enjoy!


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